


Bliss

by AshTheGoat



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asshole!Keith, Other, Transphobia, light Violence, trans!Lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 03:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13379100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshTheGoat/pseuds/AshTheGoat
Summary: The four times Lance almost outs himself and the one time he does.





	Bliss

**Author's Note:**

> For my crab  
> Happy Birthday u weeb  
> hope u liek

Lance is trans and stealth and he would very much appreciate to keep it that way. It's not that he doesn't trust his friends with his secret, really he would trust them with his life, but he’s afraid of their reactions. Especially Keith. Oh god, Keith. From the outside, they seem to be like serious rivals and sometimes the team gets concerned for them and their relationship. But it's not like that. No one understands their relationship. And sadly, Lance is also a part of that no one. Some days Keith is cuddling up to him like if they aren't touching for one second, he’ll spontaneously combust from the pain it would bring him. And yet… other days Keith acts like he doesn't even exist. Like he isn't even a real person. Those are always the worst days. They do pass eventually, but in the moment it feels like years of endless isolation. For all the time that the two have been friends, Lance has always been wishing for something more. Something closer, more stable, where he doesn't feel like he always has to guess how Keith is feeling about him. Where he isn't always in fear that Keith hates him. But that’s unrealistic, right?

#1: Hunk  
It's just an average day on the ship. The team was on their way to a tropical island vacation on some exotic planet in the Mempktor belt. Lance was actually the first up. Or so he thought. Since he seemed to be alone, Lance didn’t feel the need to go through the pain of putting on a binder. Those damn things are so uncomfortable that some days he wonders if it's even worth it to go through the pain of putting it on. He pulls on a baggy sweatshirt, just in case anyone was to wake up and see him. Lance tiptoes out of his room and makes his way to the kitchen because after a night of dysphoria and crying he was pretty damn hungry, for food and for some sweet, sweet validation. Thankfully, he makes it to the kitchen with no conflict with any humans. But once he enters he is immediately attacked by Hunk, who was hiding just out of sight. Just like how any Manly Man would do, he screams at a high enough pitch that he thinks that he’s going to shatter the kitchen windows.  
“Jesus, calm down dude, it was just a joke. You don't gotta freak.” Hunk exclaimed in reaction to the excruciating sound that his ears have had to hear. Hunk was still clutching tightly to Lance though, which was a serious problem for our young trans hero, who as you may remember decided to go binder-less this morning. The very second that Lance realized he could be exposed, he expertly wiggled out of the grip brawny brunette.  
“Uh, sorry dude!”, Lance awkwardly apologized, “Didn’t mean to rupture your eardrums there.” An awkward silence follows. “I guess I’ll be going now….” he didn't even wait for a reply and shot out the door like there was a fire. That was close.

#2: Pidge  
After the kitchen disaster that shall not be mentioned, Lance was pretty much ready for death. How could he even THINK about facing Hunk after the extremely awkward situation that he put him through. Thankfully, he only had to hide in solitude for the rest of that day, because they finally reached their destination. The island of Parigapos. Full of amazing sights and tons of adventures just waiting to happen. Lance was ready to get out of the cramped castle so he could stretch out his abnormally long legs in the sun. He suited up, pulling on some swim trunks, two sports bras, and a comfy baggy tee shirt. Lance dashed out the door at the speed of light and started on his own little adventure on the island, hoping to find a nice calming place all to himself.  
It took what felt like sixteen hours (but it was maybe twenty minutes realistically) before Lance finally found his perfect spot. A good bit of sun and shade, a small lagoon to swim in, trees surrounding for privacy, and far enough away from the castle that no one would find him, but not so far away that he couldn't get back in a reasonable amount of time. Or so he thought.  
“Hey Lance!” Pidge called out. Damn it. So much for a relaxing day alone. “Wow, you really found the perfect spot here Lance. Mind if I join?” Pidge politely asked. Lance, being the gentleman that he is, allowed the tiny inconvenience to join him. She happily sat down and began working on something on her laptop that Lance frankly did not care about, while Lance stretched out on the ground to soak up some sun.  
A couple hours later, Pidge had finally finished whatever she was doing and pulled off her cover-up to reveal a simple swimmer’s one-piece and dived into the small lagoon. “Hey, Lance! Come in and swim with me!”  
“I think I’m fine right here, thanks” Lance dismissed without even moving to look Pidge in the eye, which was a fatal mistake. He could not see the evil plan brewing in the eyes of the small devil.  
“Alright….I guess if that's how you really feel…” Pidge sighed, while slowly making her way over to the edge closest to Lance. Before you could say quiznack Pidge was dragging Lance in by his foot, which lifted up his shirt exposing him to anyone who was looking. Fortunately, no one was looking. Pidge was too busy with the effort of dragging a giant into the lagoon that she wasn't paying attention, and there wasn't anyone else nearby that could see either of them. Once Lance realized the peril that he was in, he took back his foot that was stolen by the little gremlin, pulled down his shirt, and sprinted away into the trees without looking back to see the hurt look on Pidge’s face.

#3: Shiro  
Dashing through the woods, one Lance makes his way, over the beach he goes, really cursing today! No like really. What was up with today? What deity has he pissed off? Who must he sacrifice for these encounters to stop? While he pondered this, he may have accidentally collided with a wild Shiro, who was simply minding his own damn business, trying to have a nice time. Lance also wanted to have a nice time. Apparently, no one is allowed to have a nice time today.  
“Lance are you alright? You look spooked.” Shiro questioned, concerned for his friend. Lance immediately went straight to lying as he couldn’t exactly tell his dear fearless leader Shiro that he was running from a small imp who tried to drag him into a lagoon but he sadly couldn’t let that happen because his ass was trans and he can't be exposed for any reason. So yeah, lying is the best option in this situation.  
“Just taking a nice run, I wasn’t paying attention, sorry for bothering you Shiro.” Lance panted. He just needed to get away. Taking an educated guess, Lance assumed that any prolonged contact with any of his friends wouldn’t go well today. Just as he began to slip off, Shiro dragged him back into the depths of his own personal hell.  
“It’s no bother at all Lance! I was actually about to start my own morning run too, want to join me?” Shiro offered, not noticing the pained look on his friend’s face.  
“I can’t think of a reason not to...” Really. He couldn’t. Great! Running and the imminent possibility of outing himself. So much fun.  
:>)  
That’s it. Lance has died and he’s in hell. Apparently hell looks like a beautiful tropical island. The only prediction of hell that he was right about was the heat. Lance was burning alive. There was no water in sight. He had maybe ten minutes before he collapsed and fully accepted death.  
“Lance my buddy, if you’re too hot, you can take a break.” Shiro consoles. They agreed that for lance’s health and safety that they should stop for a bit. They found a little shady spot to rest near a little and Lance immediately collapsed to the ground, face first. “Lance?” shake, ”LANCE”. He bolts upright. For a quiet guy, he sure did have a booming voice that could strike fear into the hearts of mortals.  
“ALRIGHT I’M UP CALM DOWN,” Lance screamed in pure fear. He sat up and leaned against a tree, afraid to law down again just in case Shiro would disapprove and scream at him again.  
“Lance if you’re hot, just take a dip in one of the lagoons,” Shiro stated calmly, no evidence of his former screeching. It was a pretty good idea. Most of the reason that Lance even came out here was to swim. Might as well. Lance jumps in, fully clothed, and receives some extremely concerned looks from Shiro.”Lance, why are you still in your shirt? Its kinda weird,” Shiro asks, a look of pure confusion on his face. Muscely McHunkFace just doesn’t understand that some people don’t like to flaunt off their body for all to see. Of course, that’s not Lance’s situation. If he removes his shirt he’ll be exposed. Which is not a good thing. Since it seems to have worked each time before, running is the option he chooses.

#4: Alura and Corran  
Running again. Great. At least he’s much closer to his destination this time. Lance reaches the castle in a few minutes and makes a mad dash for his room. He almost made it, until he was stopped by Alura and Corran. Exactly what he needed.  
Lance, why are you all wet? And why do you look so panicked?” Alura asks, voice dripping with worry. Corran gives him a once-over, eyes asking the same question. Which reminds Lance that he is wet and his shirt is tightly clinging to him, showing off a particular bulge on his chest. Thankfully, Corran didn’t seem to notice. Panicking, Lance babbles out some random bullshit and runs to his room, slamming the door behind him.  
BONUS: Keith (time for the serious shit)  
Lance has had enough stress today, and he needs some serious relaxation time. So of course, he takes a nice, calm, bath. After said bath, Lance goes back to his room to change into some clothes. First boxers, then binder. Judging by today’s events, a binder is extremely necessary. As he reaches for his shirt, the door opens. “Hey Lance are you alri-” Keith. Shit.  
Silence. Lance turned around at least 30 seconds ago, still in just his binder and boxers, arms bare, simply in shock. Keith is just staring at him with an open-mouthed gape, unsure of what he’s seeing, while Lance is having a pull blown internal panic attack. After at least two minutes of awkward staring Keith finally comes to his senses and quietly leaves the room and shuts the door behind him, still saying nothing.  
:>)  
Its been an entire week of nothing, and Lance is going insane. It's not like this is the first time Keith has given him the silent treatment, but this time it feels more permanent. And the rest of the crew is catching on too now. They’ve begun to ask why Keith leaves the room every time Lance enters it, why in training Keith always immediately jumps to Hunk or Pidge and leaves Lance standing alone, looking like a kicked puppy. Lance has been wondering too. It's getting to the point where Lance is beginning to ignore him also. He’s stopped following him, begging for just one acknowledgment of his existence. Lance is done and he is not going back to that utter ass, crawling on his knees, begging for forgiveness, for something that wasn’t even his fault.  
Finally, after a week of silence, Keith is finally noticing his presence. But god, Lance wished he could go back. It seems that Keith has finally made his decision on how to treat Lance after the Incident, and his decision was to fully out him and make his life a living hell. How’s it going Lily? Whats wrong Lily, is it that time of the month? It is completely and utterly dehumanizing. And he’s managed to get the rest of the team on board too. Pictures of him before taped to Blue, making a special ‘Ladies Room” that only he has to use. An empty seat on either side of him during meals, if he even can find the will to leave his room. Its been hell for Lance and Keith is just making it fucking worse because no, Lance doesn’t just have to deal with his entire team and all his roommates hating him, he has to deal with his fucking depression giving him a big ol’ kick in the face and the constant urge to relapse too. Lance has been doing so well recently, but all his progress has gone down the drain. He’s just clinging on to that one bit of dignity that he has left and Lance is losing hold quickly.  
Its night and Keith has finally done it. He’s broken him. He snuck into Lance’s room while he was grabbing food and burned his binder then left it on his floor, along with his box of razors, daring him. Lance has been so strong for so long but he can't take it anymore. He pulls out his sharpest blade and lays down on the bed. Lance pulls up his sleeves seeing the faint scars left on his writs form all his previous times and feels a bit of hesitance. Isitworthithesbeencleanforsolongwhatwillhappenwhatwillhappenwhatwillhappe-  
He digs the blade into his soft wrist, basking in the pain, seeing the blood and being filled with joy. With bliss.

**Author's Note:**

> Important, most of the writing that was done for this was done at 10pm-2am while I was low-key high.


End file.
